Reflections on Being Multifaceted in a World That Wants a Label
Overview:
A reflection on what it really means to be authentic in a world that constantly tries to categorize us. We can be professional and wild, serious and funny, creative and analytical, all without one version making the others less real. Being multifaceted isn’t inconsistency; it’s being human.
We’re Multifaceted, Lean Into It.
Why do people tell you to be yourself or “real” when they get uncomfortable the moment you show the world different sides of you?
I’ve dealt with this most of my life. I’m a Leo. I have many sides to me.
Fun, serious, crazy, wild, creative, detailed.
I can be deeply introspective one day and completely unserious the next. I can obsess over the tiniest detail of a website design and then come over here and write about a candle, my couch, something that pissed me off, or a random thought I had while scrolling Instagram.
None of those things cancel the others out.
But this world can’t handle it when it doesn’t know what BOX to put you in.
We like people to be easy to explain. She’s the professional one. She’s the funny one. She’s the mom. She’s the business owner. She’s the lifestyle blogger. She’s the quiet one. She’s the wild one.
Pick one.
Because once people decide who you are, seeing evidence that you’re also something else can make them uncomfortable.
Most people have decided on one box. They’ve assimilated into who they think they should be. They don’t show other sides of their personality in spaces where it might hurt their reputation, or change how people perceive them.
There are consequences to being fully yourself. People judge. They make assumptions. They decide what professionalism is supposed to look like. They decide what someone your age should be doing, saying, wearing, posting, creating, or talking about.
So we learn to edit ourselves.
But at what point does all that editing become performing?
Why is it hard to believe that I can design the shit out of your website (FROM SCRATCH WITHOUT CHATGPT!) and run a lifestyle blog???
Why does one somehow make the other less legitimate?
I can understand psychology and user behavior and spend hours thinking through the structure of a website, and also get excited about decorating my house. I can run a business and still have thoughts about life that have absolutely nothing to do with business. I can be professional when professionalism is called for and still be loud, funny, opinionated, emotional, creative, messy, reflective, or whatever else I happen to be.
Those things aren't contradictions; they’re dimensions.
And maybe that’s the part we forget when we talk about being “authentic.”
Authenticity doesn’t mean everyone gets the same version of you.
You probably aren't exactly the same person with your best friend that you are with a client. You're not the same with your child that you are with your spouse. You're not the same sitting alone in your house at 11 p.m. that you are walking into a professional meeting at 10 a.m.
That doesn't mean one version is fake. Context matters and access matters, too.
The truth is, people can’t handle all sides of you and don’t necessarily DESERVE all sides of you.
They may not be worthy or even ready for all sides of you.
There are parts of yourself you might share freely and parts you protect. There are people who get the polished version, people who get the vulnerable version, people who get the ridiculous version, and a very small group who might get to experience almost everything.
We need to stop acting like we are one-dimensional.
We are complicated. We evolve. We contradict ourselves. We have interests that don't neatly fit together. We can be incredibly good at something and still love doing something completely unrelated. We can be serious about our work without being serious about ourselves every second of the day.
And maybe we should stop demanding that people make themselves easier for us to understand.
Just because you experience one side of me and see another on Instagram doesn’t mean shit.
